1:22 am -- April 25, 2004
I feel so silly, you know? Why have I been crying over my friend leaving? Well, when I put it that way, it doesn't sound so bad. I guess when I'm actually crying, at the time I feel silly. It sucks. The one thing I hope against all hope is that we keep in touch. I think that will help ease the pain. I'm not sure if we will though. I mean, it's not like we've ever hung out outside of work. It's not really allowed. I don't think. I mean, he has a girlfriend. It's not like if he and I were to hang out it would be anything more. We're just friends.
Le sigh. Why do things get so complicated? I'm just so worried. Gah!! I hope, hope, HOPE we stay in touch. That's my main worry. Grrr. He makes work ten times more fun. He's the main reason why I like work so much. He's like my brother. If I worked with my brother we'd have so much fun! That's how he is to me.
Man. I keep thinking about this whole thing and all I keep saying in my head is "This sucks."
And on top of that, they want me to be a Shift Leader (which is a part-time manager position) and I don't know if I really want to be. I mean, I do. But then again, I don't. Not under these circumstances. I would stay a CSR forever if it meant that Chase wouldn't have to leave. I'd be fine working for minimum wage if I actually enjoyed work. The money doesn't matter to me. Being with my friends at work does. I always imagined that if I were to go into a managing position, that Chase would help me along the way. Just the way he helped me on my first day of work as a measly CSR. I can still remember it like it were yesterday. I was so nervous about running register and he just stood next to me the whole time, until I finally got the hang of it. Before I even took any customers, he pretended to be a customer himself and be renting some movies. I tried not to laugh because of the way he was acting. He was silly.
Oy.
I'm starting to worry myself. I don't wanna be thinking about this too much. I'll just get myself upset even more. It especially sucks when he jokes about it at work. Like tonight.
Stop it, Jess! Get yourself to gether.
I need to go to bed. And I need someone to talk to.
This sucks.
Last Five
Last night. - July 08, 2005
I Stole It From Sommer!! - July 02, 2005
Eventually. - June 28, 2005
All I Can Say, I Should Have Said. - May 31, 2005
A Planned Night. - May 13, 2005